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The thoughts that stain my brain…

New Year's party


I'm plagued by stains.

No matter how many different stain removers I keep in my desk drawer, purse and laundry room, I seem to be losing the battle against soup, chili, ketchup, chocolate, tea, and other spots on my clothes. I have drawers full of perfectly good shirts that have been downgraded from clothes to wear to my job to clothes to wear for dirty jobs.

There are just some stains that, despite the wisdom of my grandmothers and scientific stain remover advances – I can’t eliminate.

Thoughts are like that too. I have thoughts in my head that don’t serve me well, yet they are very difficult to remove. Despite all my spiritual work, they still come flying out of the blue sometimes, splattering me with fear, inflaming old jealousies, and ruining my peace.

It happens when I see a politically offensive post on Facebook, or when I start feeling anxious about finances or worried about my children. And I know better. I know these separate thoughts will only bring me misery. I know that in a moment I can choose peace instead of anxiety. But still, they don’t go away easily.

I imagine that as long as I am in this reality, I will continue to struggle with these resilient thoughts. But I know I can break them down if I can keep these things in mind.

Resilient thoughts are not true. They are projections of separateness and I am not a separate being. I am always to connected to God and all things in this world through him.

Resilient thoughts will pass. If I focus on love, I can banish resilient thoughts from my mind. I can shift my energy by laughing, dancing, singing or looking at pictures of my loved ones.

Resilient thoughts teach me. Each time I experience these thoughts I have a chance to learn more about who I am. As I uncover and understand certain truths, I grow in my ability to love myself and others.

Resilient thoughts, unlike the stains on my clothes, will disappear in time. As I understand them better and bring them into the light, they will be dissolved by the truth. I can learn to stay in peace, even as the things that upset me spill over in my mind.

It just takes a little scrubbing and a lot of love.


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